Can't Help It If I'm Just a Fool

Sun, 05 Oct 2003 06:07:52 GMT

so...I realize this is a pain for all of you, but I have a new livejournal. this one is probably just going to be forgotten forever, so make the leap and just take it off your friends list.

my new livejournal username is bepurewind ...if you have me listed as a friend then I listed you as a friend for that livejournal

thanks you guys :) my homecoming pictures and girlyomigoshtahoeisgreatandIwanttomarryhim talk will be in the new lj

Fri, 03 Oct 2003 03:25:41 GMT

homecoming weeks is really stressful. sometimes I feel like I've been carrying a lot of what the school gets on my shoulders. homecoming decorations? me. marching band practices? me. parade? me. halftime show? me.

don't start to say it...I know it's my own fault. I get myself into everything I do and I enjoy every minute of it. I think it's just because I've been sick and I'm expending energy that I don't really have. stress stress stress. homecoming is going to give me an ulcer.

my schedule for tomorrow:

5:00 wake up, take a shower, french braid my hair as tightly as possible
6:00 drive with my Dad to Shea...leave my car there and have Dad drive me back to school
7:20-11something go to classes
11something-sometime march my band through the hallways playing the fight song

**right about here I have all of 5 minutes to get the entire marching band back to the band room, get to the athletic office, change into the bear suit, and start mascoting for field day**

sometime-2:15 mascot for field day

2:15-3:00 eat food and get into marching band uniform; make sure everyone in the band is IN uniform, get the band out to the back parking lot

3:00-5:00 watch the band to make sure they don't do anything stupid, waltz around parking lot

5:00-6:00 parade down to Shea

6:00-7:00 make sure the band doesn't get crap on their uniforms while they eat dinner; keep an eye on my padawan mascot

7:00-start of halftime keep the band in line, have them play some random pep band music

halftime marching band show to present homecoming royalty

end of halftime-end of game get into bear suit as fast as humanly possible, mascot for the rest of the homecoming game...try to direct band while in bear suit

end of game-end of night whatever the hell the rest of the band is doing...otherwise I'm going to jump Tahoe lol

______________________________________________________

I'm not sure if I can handle this. I can try...

got put on zithromax, prednisone, and vicadin today. I felt like saying "thanks guys...FOR NOT GIVING ME THIS STUFF 4 WEEKS AGO WHEN I FIRST GOT SICK!" argh.

la de da

Sun, 28 Sep 2003 18:58:24 GMT

I am so tired of sounding like I have walking pneumonia! I have been sick for over a month. bah.

homecoming dress: red with kind of a sheer black overlay...thing. whatever. hopefully Tahoe will like it.

Blue: You live through your emotions, intense highs
and lows. Life, for you, is all about love -
giving love, getting love and sharing love.
Honesty is important to you, but sometimes it
is difficult to be honest if you think it may
hurt someone's feelings.
Blue is deflective. You turn attention away from
yourself to others and often neglect your own
needs.
Secret emotions: Suspicion and Sensitivity

What color is your aura?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thu, 25 Sep 2003 01:39:20 GMT

I'm going to have to apologize to Tahoe tomorrow for all the women that keep harassing him on my behalf(even though I never asked them to). Dana yelled at him for not saying hi to me(I WAS getting kinda worried on that one but still). Chrissy made him hug me. Chrissy went and talked to him about making me feel more loved. Honestly girls! Poor Tahoe. I'll apologize for it tomorrow. I was supposed to go with Hatoe(Tahoe lol) to his youth group tonight but I had marching band(just got home) and I didn't know the when or the where of the situation. Lalala. Tahoe has really pretty eyes. Just thought you oughta know. I hate the whole 7th-grade-awkward kind of feeling I get with the me+Tahoe relationship. That needs to be fixed. Apparently he's intimidated because he's a sophomore and I'm a senior. Poor Tahoe.

I work my hardest for marching band, but marching band isn't willing to work for me. Do they even REALIZE that homecoming is next week and if we don't shape up we aren't even going to be in the parade? For chrissake, it's not that hard to learn a half page of music plus the fight song. Marching isn't that hard. It's just a parade! Get with it, damn you!

chemistry is a really hard class. yes, I know it was easy for 98579836485736 of you out there. But for me, it's hard. Let's just leave it at that, ok?

urgh.

'cause people don't take chances with their hearts

Thu, 18 Sep 2003 23:41:08 GMT

It took me one day of angst to get what I wanted. a day of angst and 12 pink roses that smell really good.

yeah buddy, yeah.

mostly just whining. very immature.

Wed, 17 Sep 2003 03:39:14 GMT

I have a couple of rants...I'm going to try and keep it down to just two. maybe just tahoe and marching band. those will be my rants.

marching band: I was actually fairly pleased at the turnout for practice today...and they worked pretty hard the whole time and I was proud. what I am really pissed at is that dude, Mr. Leech, that got hired to take care of percussion. Hey, buddy, you are taking care of PERCUSSION. You will NOT dictate what our band does on the field. That is MY job. And you will not dictate what I do on the field. That is Snell's job. You BASTARD. If I am not loud enough or slow enough or fast enough for you, you are just going to DEAL WITH IT. I start the song. What does that mean to YOU? It means that I will start the song as fast as I fucking want to! Not as fast as you want me to! And if you want me to yell louder I SUGGEST you get as sick as I am for a good couple weeks and try it, bucko. Did you know you made me CRY today? For christ's sake, dude, you are not my keeper. You are SO fired. You in your wifebeater and oddly shaped sunglasses. I don't care what background you are from, but ThunderRidge Marching Band doesn't have to put up with your SHIT. You are paid to put up with ours. Never, EVER tell me what the band is doing again. YOU DO NOT DECIDE THAT.

tahoe: ok so what the HELL happened? are you just scared to ask me to homecoming? you filled out the application and showed it to Alli, but you haven't done anything since then and it's bothering me. Stop hugging Charna. start hugging me. Charna can't date yet. Yeah, that's such a reason to like me. but. yeah. as Jessica would say "sexually frustrated." I guess that's what it is. tomorrow, Tagoe, I am going to figure out what is going on between us. even if I have o jump you in the hallway, godDAMN it.

Sun, 14 Sep 2003 19:42:28 GMT

Sunday, Septembr 14th...a.k.a. THE DAY THAT WOULD NOT END.

they need to have two mood icons for "sick" one throwing up and one coughing. I'm not throwing up

Wed, 10 Sep 2003 03:50:10 GMT

I'm going to whine. a lot. at least I warn you.

I worked on AP chem for 7 hours straight. I will never. miss. school. again.

word of the day; dodecahydrate

that's what I call a word.

oh SHIT. missing school means I missed my audition. I wonder if Snell will let me make it up before school. I don't want to make it up during band. makes it look like I skipped it on purpose...if I'm still coughing up blood tomorrow I don't know how it's gonna sound but maybe he has pity somewhere for me.

...it starts out like this: "one of the many problems connected with nuclear power is the availability of fuel: uranium-235 reserves are only about 0.7% those of the nonfissilie uranium-238. One solution is toe synthesize fissile nuclides fromthe other elements."

...and I'm FINE with that.

...but then it starts asking questions, like so: "Do nuclei that are positron emitters lie above or below the band of stability? Which is the following isotopes might be suitable for PET scans? Explain your reasoning and write the equation for the decay: (a) 18^O; (b) 13^N; (c) 11^C; (d) 20^F; (e) ^15O

...and then I start to think...positron? what's a positron? I thought they just made that up!

...and then it all starts to sound like this: "blah blah blah positron blah blah fusion blah blah blah fission blah blah blah technetium-99m blah blah blah molybdenum blah blah blah nucleon blah blah blah nucleosynthesis blah blah BLAH!"

marry me Jeff.

with pleated khaki pants...

Mon, 08 Sep 2003 10:28:35 GMT

nearly two hours later...scales figured out...2 etudes to finish figuring out. I think I have one thing going for me; rythymically, I doubt any of the underclassmen have a chance. the rest we'll leave up to god's good graces. sort of.

there is a double natural on the third line of the first etude...that could screw 'em over. come on, this is my 4th and final year in the top band of TRHS. I just want one of the first 3 chairs.

this song is hilarious.

till we dance away

Mon, 08 Sep 2003 08:52:57 GMT

I knew it was coming.

Alli had it.

Heather had it.

Kevin had it.

Mr. Kelly had it.

So of course I had to get it. I as trying so hard not to get sick. So so hard.

The fact that I didn't remember until midnight that I have auditions for symphonic winds 3rd period tomorrow...complicates things. I really hope the underclassmen have really bad tonal quiality. actually I just hope they suck. please, PLEASE suck.

son. of. a.

my throat really hurts. I have a sniffly nose. my head hurts. I have a fever.

and I don't feel bad about whining about it. at all.

could you whisper in my ear the things you want to feel?

Mon, 08 Sep 2003 04:39:58 GMT

this song is underappreciated.

I have a theoretical situation(well...theoretical for you but not for me lol) for all you guys out there. Visualize:

You are 17...about 5'9"-10" with curlyish dark brown hair. You've got more of an Indie Kid thing going on but I guess some people could say you're a punk. You're...well...I'm not going to lie you're pale and skinny, but incredibly endearing in one of those what-the-flippin-hell kind of ways. You have big brown eyes. You act and you mascot.

Got that down?

Now, that said...what kind of girl are YOU looking for? Does she look anything like the user pic on this entry?

lol.

Wheatridge High School....we just kicked your ass.

Sat, 06 Sep 2003 06:20:21 GMT

41-12.hee. hee. hee hee hee. as the school mascot I feel I have fully earned the right to laugh tonight. We kick butt. Even Scott Benke kicks butt, because he got a touchdown tonight. Nate got 3 though.

I really need to figure out what's going on with Jake.

I made peace with Megan today(I still hate her but she no longer knows it. It's easier for both of us that way).

Jeff talked to me tonight. 5 whole flippppppin times. I parked next to his car when we went to Red Robin..."Whoah there's his super car! I'm parking THERE!" he was cleaning tables but he came out and talked to us and now every senior in marching band knows I want to marry him. Whatever works. So, so...Jeff. I stayed to take care of the check so that I could see him again. I wonder how close to stalking I am. Pretty close. But he DID come out again to clean off the table and we talked a couple minutes longer. Marriage. Marriage. Homecoming? Marriage.

ThunderRidge GRIZZLIES.

I'm outta school, I'm outta school, I'm outta school hey hey hey hey

Fri, 05 Sep 2003 17:53:15 GMT

beauty; thy name is early-release days at TRHS.

Fri, 05 Sep 2003 03:07:52 GMT

I am allergic to my own house.

whenever I come home I automatically start sneezing uncontrollably and lose my voice and get watery eyes. and now I'm getting a rash. but everywhere else I'm fine.

what?!

I need a boyfriend. thank you freud.

Wed, 03 Sep 2003 08:42:15 GMT

One day of being gone in chem and I'm damn hopeless already. Oh, this is going to be fun. I'm just not a math/science-minded person. Art and music and literature...THERE we go. But I want a five.

eh. better get started.

I flirted with Jon D. today...I don't know why I find that funny but I really do. yes.

I also talked with Tahoe, Andrew(not my bro), Heather, Ashley, etc. about love lives and crable robbing. Wow. I could date Andrew. He's cute like none other. According to Heather it's cradle robbing though, because he's a sophomore. sonofa.

Tue, 02 Sep 2003 08:20:29 GMT

someday they'll find your small town world on a big town avenue
gonna make you like the way they talk when they're talking to you
gonna make you break out of the shell cause they tell you to
gonna make you like the way they lie better than the truth
they'll tell you everything you wanted someone else to say
they're gonna break your heart yeah
from what I've seen
you're just a one more hand me down
'cause no one's tried to give you what you need
so lay all your troubles down
I am with you now
somebody ought to take you in; try to make you love again
try to make you like the way they feel when they're under your skin
never once did think they'd lie when they're holding you
you wonder why they haven't called when they said they'd call you
you start to wonder if you're ever gonna make it by
you'll start to think you were born blind
from what I've seen
you're just a one more hand me down
'cause no one's tried to give you what you need
so lay all your troubles down
I am with you now
I'm here for the hard times
the straight through your heart times
when living ain't easy
you can stand up against me
and maybe rely on me
and cry on me yeah
oh no no no
some day they'll open up your world
shake it down on a drawing board
do their best to change you
they still can't erase you
from what I've seen
you're just a one more hand me down
'cause no one's tried to give you what you need
so lay all your troubles down
I am with you now
lay them down on me
oh yeah
you're just one more hand me down
and all those nights don't give you what you need
so lay all your troubles down on me

Tue, 02 Sep 2003 05:10:42 GMT

there are only six lj-ers who list "spiky haired boys" as one of their interests. and one of them is me, so that doesn't count. WHAT?! we need to fix this.

Tue, 02 Sep 2003 05:07:52 GMT

Jeff said "hi katie" to me Saturday night. What this means to me:

obviously it had to register that I was there. At some point, this thought went through. --there's Katie. I'll say hi to her-- right? I mean...there's no doubt that THAT THOUGHT registered. The rest I will leave up to hope. But hey. I exist and he knows it. So ha.

I'm going to wear my radiohead pants tomorrow. they make me happy. I wrote the lyrics to fake plastic trees down the outside seams and around the upturned cuffs. happy happy pants.

I'm stupid. you know why? well...a lot of reasons...but right now just because I realized that when Jeff said "hi katie" to me I was so damn flumbered(Mandy!) that I just said "hi Jeff" and went back to my sprite. I don't even remember if I smiled! sweet jesus...I must always give the impression that I'm not interested because I don't want to make a fool of myself. I'll have to try and say hi to him tomorrow and maybe-hopefully-remediate my own idiocy. if I hadn't said "hi jeff" I would have said "YES! I will marry you! let's do it NOW!"

smooth. godDAMN am I smooth.

she says shh, I know it's only in my head

Sat, 30 Aug 2003 05:23:36 GMT

I have to go by numbers or my topic jumping will distress even those who actually read it.

1) As we all know, my dreams are weird and weirder still...not to mention I have one every night because I skip two stages of sleep. I wonder how it is NOT to go straight from consciousness to dreamland. but whatever. but this one was kind of odd...don't know what to make of it...help me out. Me and Jake. How did THAT happen, even in a dream? I'm thinking the subject probably set that one down because I drove him home the other day...lol we were blasting smooth jazz in my minivan with the marijuana leaf lei in the rearview mirror. Funny as hell. But honestly I don't get what is going on here. Let me lay out the facts.

**My mother and three others state that Jake is madly in love with me. Basis for this statement varies.
**Jake decided to drum major this year...no clear basis for this decision(read: I am senior drum major, he's junior drum major).
**Every single day when I'm eating lunch, Jake shows up. Whether he's in the same lunch as me or not. He doesn't sit down...he just stands there. We say hi and then it's up to me to carry on the conversation. Otherwise it's relaly awkward. Hell, I have better conversations with Jeff and that's when I'm trying my best not to jump him or scare him away.

Melissa agreed to do some snooping for me on this subject. It feels like 7th grade all over again except it's even weirder and as far as Jake is concerned I have a kind of a...void. I just stop thinking about it before I start. What.

2) mascoting is totally awesome this year. There are only 4 of us, and I'm the only senior. We decided the hell with anonymity this year...everyone is going to know that we rock the casbah all the way to the floor. we all have camelbacks now so that we don't die while mascoting...why didn't I think of that last year?! It could save my life. We're also getting mascoting hoodies, so that when cheers and poms wear their uniforms to school, and football/basketball/whatever players wear their jerseys to school(game days), we can wear our mascoting hoodies. They're going to be brown because no one else has the color and well...we're grizzly bears dammit. And we're going to sew ears on the hoodie part. YES. I'm really happy with that part...it was my idea lol. On the sleeve we'll have our name and on the back we'll have some fun phrase about how mascoting owns every sport there ever was or will be. Damn we're cool.

3) Econ. was really fun today...Rouse wasn't there lol. But we had a pretty cool sub(poor lady had a neck brace on but she was really nice and let us hang out and play music as long as we finished out work) and we watched some movie on capitalism and then made posters of the causes and effects of capitalism. Melissa brought cookie/bar type things that her mom made and they were the best thing I ever had in my life. We put on modest mouse and made our posters and I actually talked to Jeff. And Kane but he doesn't count because I have no romantic interest in him lol. It was seriously the most fun I've had in a long time and at least now Jeff(if he was even paying attention-doubtful, but I can dream) has seen some of my personality and he KNOWS I am a complete and total dork who, surprisingly, listens to a lot of the same music that he does. Funny, but really relevent. I don't and won't pretend. Not to him. Because he doesn't pretend.

4) I wrote a song today right before play practice, while Tahoe was playing my guitar and providing me with inspiration(unknowingly, but as long as he's playing MY guitar he'd better be useful). I actually kind of like it, which isn't typical of what I write. I call it "relate" Then I wrote another song called "relate pt. 2" which is upon the same basis yet different, so whatever. Tahoe read the first (relate) and he really liked it. He's got an awesome sense of music so I'll take that as profound flattery lol.

5) actually did an AP art project in ONE DAY today...that's flippin amazing for me. It's a frog(indescribable pose) in chalk pastel. I hate chalk pastel but but the piece itself is not too bad. Ms. Hiatt loves it, so la. It was my complementary colors piece(where you invert a picture's colors). Today, since I finished early(go me, go) I started on my image matrix. From my matchbox twenty cd I found my idea/inspiration, and so I made Kelly, Kyle, Brianne, and Joey go out into the hallway where we stood in a line and covered our faces with our hands(I was in it too) and we took a picture of us all. I'm going to switch the faces and the hands around...the forearms will be a pretty big focal point because they were all really unique; my froggie watch, Kelly's oil paint covered hands, Kyle's black nail polish, Brianne's fingers entwined and hidden behind her hat, Joey's normalcy lol. We were messing around with the image in photoshop and we turned Kyle into god...first we put a big glare on his head because he shaves his head and we wre like...wow! He's in the middle of the five of us so it's really crazy looking. He looks like a prophet or something. Then we made it spherical so that Kyle was really big in the middle and the rest of us were kind of skewed off towards the sides, and we gave him a head-glare again. Then it was REALLY great. He's not Kyle anymore. He's god. From now on. He's not going to be god in my piece though.

I'm really, really tired.

Marry me Jeff Morgan.

oh man it's so true it's sad...there I go again

Thu, 28 Aug 2003 23:59:47 GMT

Livejournal Mood Ring

colfaxwhore
is distressed.

If it's not one thing, it's another. Your life is a pitiful wreck, and it's all you ever write about. Why don't you at least make up a happy story for once. Your friends would appreciate that.

brought to you by interim32. wanna know your livejournal's mood ring
color? enter your username and hit the button.

I'm sorry, but it has to be said

Wed, 27 Aug 2003 05:36:43 GMT

Holy hell and hot DAMN, Legolas.

I go out seal hunting with my best friend Tarka, but all I wanna do is get into his parka...

Sun, 24 Aug 2003 17:05:07 GMT

I think my dreams are starting to drive me crazy. Or at least they are making me spiral downwards pretty badly. I need to figure out how to handle myself. survey time. whoop whoop(lights: strobe strobe strobe)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | never being loved
02 | the people I love(even if they don't love me back) being hurt
03 | spiders
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | fun kid at my AP chem table(less talk...more work! less talk...more work!)
02 | Mr. Snell(and Mr. Kelly and Mr. Prouty!)
03 | Mandy & co.
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | love
02 | sunrays & saturdays; perfect starry nights...sweet dreams and moonbeams and a love that's warm and bright
03 | my brother Andrew
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | people who defend their own opinions but won't listen to yours
02 | immorality in general(and by this I mean crimes against humanity)
03 | Falk, Motz, Rouse
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | hypocrisy(and why we are all doomed to be hypocrites through absent-mindedness alone, if not conscious stupidity)
02 | love(and why I can't have it)
03 | fashion trends(I'll keep THIS side on THIS boob! What an IDEA!!!!)
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | a plethera of fun necklaces that I never put away
02 | unopened can of Coke
03 | unfinished letter that I really need to finish
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | being pissed at conscious hypocrites...
02 | wishing Jeff Morgan would like me as much as I like him...or at all.
03 | thinking about having breakfast sometime soon
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | be loved
02 | accomplish something
03 | still be loved
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | cry
02 | get pissed off at people, thus setting myself up for banishment from their social circle(now THAT's talent, James Dean)
03 | love
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | whiny-bitch
02 | sad
03 | ....sad
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | always be happy with my life
02 | ignore idiocy completely
03 | suppress my opinions
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | something corporate
02 | Tahoe's girlfriend song(that might be a little hard for you)
03 | bad religion
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | uh
02 | marry me jeff morgan!
03 | sonofa
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | bread
02 | chocolate
03 | starbucks whipped cream(now THAT is a dairy product)
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | how be love and be loved in return
02 | upright bass
03 | happiness
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | milk
02 | water
03 | frappuccino/chai
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | Eureka's Castle
02 | Fraggle Rock(down at fraggle rock!! down at fraggle rock!!)
03 | Full House
RANDOM QUESTIONS...
01 | Spell out your name backwards: eitak
02 | How did you get your [live journal] name? long nights of hard work?..lol it's a long story actually
03 | Are you homosexual? nope
DESCRIBE YOUR:
[ x ] Wallet - red satin with little white flowers...it makes me happy
[ x ] Hairbrush – flat...um it's blue.
[ x ] Toothbrush – crest spinbrush; spaceship
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily – I always have one or two fun necklaces
[ x ] Pillow cover – mommy-made pillow...stars and planets. I also have Strawberry Shortcake, frogs, patchwork stars/moons, and some plain colored ones
[ x ] Blanket – my favorite blankie is patchwork...it belonged to my great grandmother...lots of animals. very worn, even more wonderful
[ x ] Coffee cup – vanGogh's Starry Night
[ x ] sunglasses – I don't really wear sunglasses. I used to have some rose-tinted ones lol
[ x ] Underwear – right now? Victoria's Secret bikini cut...seamless! damn nice! lol...maroonish colored.
[ x ] Cologne/Perfume – Gap Pink or American Eagle's scent...forget the name...smells like boy...lol
[ x ] CD in stereo right now – counting crows mix
[ x ] Tattoos – nah. a little leaf on my neck wouldn't go amiss though. maybe someday
[ x ] Piercings – both my ears, once...I never wear earrings though
[ x ] What you are wearing now – still in my jammies. get back to me on that one
[ x ] In my mouth – teeth and a tongue. and they're mine. I'm hungry
[ x ] In my head – Angel by Pearl Jam
[ x ] Wishing – Jeff liked me as much as I like him...still.
[ x ] After this – breakfast?
[ x ] Fetishes – necklaces and teddy-bear boys
[ x ] If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what? I wouldn't
[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now – Jeff
[ x ] Is next to you - ummm a chair
[ x ] Some of your favorite movies – Lilo & Stitch, Cruel Intentions, Bringin' Down the House...about 946598265 more.
[ x ] Something you're looking forward to – Monday.
[ x ] The last thing you ate – I don't remember...that was last night
[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of – spiders
[ x ] Do you like candles – I love candles
[ x ] Do you like incense – it's ok as long as it's not the really really strong stuff
[ x ] Do you like the taste of blood – actually, everyone does. it's primal that way...proven too.
[ x ] Do you believe in love – yes
[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates - yes
[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight – yes
[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks – yes
[ x ] What are some of your favorite candies – I have a lot...Cow Tails are damn good right now though
[ x ] What's something that you wish people would understand – that I DO work hard, and that I don't give a rat's-ass for their type of freedom. I have my own.

Sat, 23 Aug 2003 05:33:30 GMT

the first football season of the year makes everything better...it honestly does.

9-8. the TR grizzlies still rock the casbah.

I found 4 more people that love Jeff Morgan. One of them is a guy. What the FUCK is up with this guy? I wish I wish I wish I wish. As I've said before, pale skinny punk kid...NEW KID at that...and absolutely irrestistable to pretty much everyone. Found out today that he's in Rouse's seminar. I know where I'LL be visiting when TK locks me out. He asked me a question today about my art stuff. My answer was something akin to the stock answer for everything...but I was so flustered I'm not sure if I slipped in the proposition for eloping tomorrow or not. Probably not lol.

Tonight was a really good night. I will name some names: who made it good. Mandy, Amanda, Jaden, Kelly, Mr. Snell(shakin' the booty AND superstar), Jake, Sarah K., Jennifer, Robert, Megan G., Dana, Tahoe, many little kids, Kat...and wow, probably some more. It just kind of...cleared the air. I felt better after the game tonight than I have in a long time. I noticed that I'm a lot more open this year too...maybe that changed over the summer, I know not. But I danced it down with Megan and that's not something I usually do. My mascoting has gone up a notch as well..lol.

All I'm missing in life is...well...a life. And Jeff Morgan. I wish.

4 rants, a ray of hope, and complete failure in one aspect of life

Thu, 21 Aug 2003 03:24:03 GMT

Not much time. So so sleepy. Let's get this all out so someone other than me can worry about it. Provided they read it.

Rob is pissing me off. I respect his opinions, but I hate the fact that he doesn't respect mine. When out beliefs or opinions differ I take his at face value, I don't expect him to argue his point for me, but when I say what I think he automatically starts frowning and doing his whole pissy-rob thing, where he tries to give me reasons to the contrary that are completely bizarre. Rob, just fucking STOP IT. No wonder you and Laura have a bipolar relationship...do you hate her because she likes someone and you don't? Gr.

Tia really, really, REALLY needs to leave me alone. Ok Tai, we never HAD a relationship. I didn't know you...it was like you ambushed me. From "hi" straight for the kill. Leave. Me. Alone. I don't want you trying to hold my hand during art class.

Oh, and another thing for you, Tai. Start working in class. I watched you waste 92 minutes of classtime today, whining the entire time about how LITTLE time you have to do your products. Quitcher goddamn bitchin!

One MORE thing, Tai my friend. When you ask me what you should do with your piece, don't refute everything I try to tell you. You wanted the critique, right? Take it like a man. Consider it before you get all pissy and protective. I'M pissy and protective, but I take my criticisms and I try to learn from them even if they deny a part of my piece that I really really liked. We can't always have what we want. If you don't want to listen to anything I say, DON'T TALK TO ME. Because trust me, I don't want to talk to you. At all. Ever. Ever. Ever again. Never.

and the fwooping must stop.

Ray of hope. During lunch today Jeff Morgan looked at me. He looked like he was considering something. Obviously his consensus was a round "no" but whatever. He talked to me for roughly two sentences worth of time in Econ. too. And he gave me that whole considering look thing again. Does this mean I can propose marriage now?

Complete failure. I can't act. Why did I try. The hell with Midsummer Night's Dream. And being Hermia. Maybe I will be cast as a fairy. Sure. Whatever. A fairy at best. Sonofa.

Wed, 20 Aug 2003 01:55:40 GMT