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Sunday, October 5th, 2003
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so...I realize this is a pain for all of you, but I have a new livejournal. this one is probably just going to be forgotten forever, so make the leap and just take it off your friends list.
my new livejournal username is bepurewind ...if you have me listed as a friend then I listed you as a friend for that livejournal
thanks you guys :) my homecoming pictures and girlyomigoshtahoeisgreatandIwanttomarryhim talk will be in the new lj
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| *sing to me!* |
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Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
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| Time: | 8:59 pm. |
| Mood: |  stressed. | | Music: | watching something...uhhh without a trace I think. |
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homecoming weeks is really stressful. sometimes I feel like I've been carrying a lot of what the school gets on my shoulders. homecoming decorations? me. marching band practices? me. parade? me. halftime show? me.
don't start to say it...I know it's my own fault. I get myself into everything I do and I enjoy every minute of it. I think it's just because I've been sick and I'm expending energy that I don't really have. stress stress stress. homecoming is going to give me an ulcer.
my schedule for tomorrow:
5:00 wake up, take a shower, french braid my hair as tightly as possible
6:00 drive with my Dad to Shea...leave my car there and have Dad drive me back to school
7:20-11something go to classes
11something-sometime march my band through the hallways playing the fight song
**right about here I have all of 5 minutes to get the entire marching band back to the band room, get to the athletic office, change into the bear suit, and start mascoting for field day**
sometime-2:15 mascot for field day
2:15-3:00 eat food and get into marching band uniform; make sure everyone in the band is IN uniform, get the band out to the back parking lot
3:00-5:00 watch the band to make sure they don't do anything stupid, waltz around parking lot
5:00-6:00 parade down to Shea
6:00-7:00 make sure the band doesn't get crap on their uniforms while they eat dinner; keep an eye on my padawan mascot
7:00-start of halftime keep the band in line, have them play some random pep band music
halftime marching band show to present homecoming royalty
end of halftime-end of game get into bear suit as fast as humanly possible, mascot for the rest of the homecoming game...try to direct band while in bear suit
end of game-end of night whatever the hell the rest of the band is doing...otherwise I'm going to jump Tahoe lol
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I'm not sure if I can handle this. I can try...
got put on zithromax, prednisone, and vicadin today. I felt like saying "thanks guys...FOR NOT GIVING ME THIS STUFF 4 WEEKS AGO WHEN I FIRST GOT SICK!" argh.
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| *4 pretty songbirds ... sing to me!* |
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Sunday, September 28th, 2003
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I am so tired of sounding like I have walking pneumonia! I have been sick for over a month. bah.
homecoming dress: red with kind of a sheer black overlay...thing. whatever. hopefully Tahoe will like it.
Blue: You live through your emotions, intense highs
and lows. Life, for you, is all about love -
giving love, getting love and sharing love.
Honesty is important to you, but sometimes it
is difficult to be honest if you think it may
hurt someone's feelings.
Blue is deflective. You turn attention away from
yourself to others and often neglect your own
needs.
Secret emotions: Suspicion and Sensitivity
What color is your aura?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| *sing to me!* |
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Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
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| Time: | 7:31 pm. |
| Mood: |  ditzy. | | Music: | gin blossoms; till i hear it from you. |
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I'm going to have to apologize to Tahoe tomorrow for all the women that keep harassing him on my behalf(even though I never asked them to). Dana yelled at him for not saying hi to me(I WAS getting kinda worried on that one but still). Chrissy made him hug me. Chrissy went and talked to him about making me feel more loved. Honestly girls! Poor Tahoe. I'll apologize for it tomorrow. I was supposed to go with Hatoe(Tahoe lol) to his youth group tonight but I had marching band(just got home) and I didn't know the when or the where of the situation. Lalala. Tahoe has really pretty eyes. Just thought you oughta know. I hate the whole 7th-grade-awkward kind of feeling I get with the me+Tahoe relationship. That needs to be fixed. Apparently he's intimidated because he's a sophomore and I'm a senior. Poor Tahoe.
I work my hardest for marching band, but marching band isn't willing to work for me. Do they even REALIZE that homecoming is next week and if we don't shape up we aren't even going to be in the parade? For chrissake, it's not that hard to learn a half page of music plus the fight song. Marching isn't that hard. It's just a parade! Get with it, damn you!
chemistry is a really hard class. yes, I know it was easy for 98579836485736 of you out there. But for me, it's hard. Let's just leave it at that, ok?
urgh.
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| *sing to me!* |
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Thursday, September 18th, 2003
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It took me one day of angst to get what I wanted. a day of angst and 12 pink roses that smell really good.
yeah buddy, yeah.
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| *1 pretty songbird ... sing to me!* |
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Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
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I have a couple of rants...I'm going to try and keep it down to just two. maybe just tahoe and marching band. those will be my rants.
marching band: I was actually fairly pleased at the turnout for practice today...and they worked pretty hard the whole time and I was proud. what I am really pissed at is that dude, Mr. Leech, that got hired to take care of percussion. Hey, buddy, you are taking care of PERCUSSION. You will NOT dictate what our band does on the field. That is MY job. And you will not dictate what I do on the field. That is Snell's job. You BASTARD. If I am not loud enough or slow enough or fast enough for you, you are just going to DEAL WITH IT. I start the song. What does that mean to YOU? It means that I will start the song as fast as I fucking want to! Not as fast as you want me to! And if you want me to yell louder I SUGGEST you get as sick as I am for a good couple weeks and try it, bucko. Did you know you made me CRY today? For christ's sake, dude, you are not my keeper. You are SO fired. You in your wifebeater and oddly shaped sunglasses. I don't care what background you are from, but ThunderRidge Marching Band doesn't have to put up with your SHIT. You are paid to put up with ours. Never, EVER tell me what the band is doing again. YOU DO NOT DECIDE THAT.
tahoe: ok so what the HELL happened? are you just scared to ask me to homecoming? you filled out the application and showed it to Alli, but you haven't done anything since then and it's bothering me. Stop hugging Charna. start hugging me. Charna can't date yet. Yeah, that's such a reason to like me. but. yeah. as Jessica would say "sexually frustrated." I guess that's what it is. tomorrow, Tagoe, I am going to figure out what is going on between us. even if I have o jump you in the hallway, godDAMN it.
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| *sing to me!* |
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Sunday, September 14th, 2003
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Tuesday, September 9th, 2003
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I'm going to whine. a lot. at least I warn you.
I worked on AP chem for 7 hours straight. I will never. miss. school. again.
word of the day; dodecahydrate
that's what I call a word.
oh SHIT. missing school means I missed my audition. I wonder if Snell will let me make it up before school. I don't want to make it up during band. makes it look like I skipped it on purpose...if I'm still coughing up blood tomorrow I don't know how it's gonna sound but maybe he has pity somewhere for me.
...it starts out like this: "one of the many problems connected with nuclear power is the availability of fuel: uranium-235 reserves are only about 0.7% those of the nonfissilie uranium-238. One solution is toe synthesize fissile nuclides fromthe other elements."
...and I'm FINE with that.
...but then it starts asking questions, like so: "Do nuclei that are positron emitters lie above or below the band of stability? Which is the following isotopes might be suitable for PET scans? Explain your reasoning and write the equation for the decay: (a) 18^O; (b) 13^N; (c) 11^C; (d) 20^F; (e) ^15O
...and then I start to think...positron? what's a positron? I thought they just made that up!
...and then it all starts to sound like this: "blah blah blah positron blah blah fusion blah blah blah fission blah blah blah technetium-99m blah blah blah molybdenum blah blah blah nucleon blah blah blah nucleosynthesis blah blah BLAH!"
marry me Jeff.
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| *1 pretty songbird ... sing to me!* |
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Monday, September 8th, 2003
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nearly two hours later...scales figured out...2 etudes to finish figuring out. I think I have one thing going for me; rythymically, I doubt any of the underclassmen have a chance. the rest we'll leave up to god's good graces. sort of.
there is a double natural on the third line of the first etude...that could screw 'em over. come on, this is my 4th and final year in the top band of TRHS. I just want one of the first 3 chairs.
this song is hilarious.
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| *2 pretty songbirds ... sing to me!* |
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I knew it was coming.
Alli had it.
Heather had it.
Kevin had it.
Mr. Kelly had it.
So of course I had to get it. I as trying so hard not to get sick. So so hard.
The fact that I didn't remember until midnight that I have auditions for symphonic winds 3rd period tomorrow...complicates things. I really hope the underclassmen have really bad tonal quiality. actually I just hope they suck. please, PLEASE suck.
son. of. a.
my throat really hurts. I have a sniffly nose. my head hurts. I have a fever.
and I don't feel bad about whining about it. at all.
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| *2 pretty songbirds ... sing to me!* |
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Sunday, September 7th, 2003
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this song is underappreciated.
I have a theoretical situation(well...theoretical for you but not for me lol) for all you guys out there. Visualize:
You are 17...about 5'9"-10" with curlyish dark brown hair. You've got more of an Indie Kid thing going on but I guess some people could say you're a punk. You're...well...I'm not going to lie you're pale and skinny, but incredibly endearing in one of those what-the-flippin-hell kind of ways. You have big brown eyes. You act and you mascot.
Got that down?
Now, that said...what kind of girl are YOU looking for? Does she look anything like the user pic on this entry?
lol.
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| *sing to me!* |
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Saturday, September 6th, 2003
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41-12.hee. hee. hee hee hee. as the school mascot I feel I have fully earned the right to laugh tonight. We kick butt. Even Scott Benke kicks butt, because he got a touchdown tonight. Nate got 3 though.
I really need to figure out what's going on with Jake.
I made peace with Megan today(I still hate her but she no longer knows it. It's easier for both of us that way).
Jeff talked to me tonight. 5 whole flippppppin times. I parked next to his car when we went to Red Robin..."Whoah there's his super car! I'm parking THERE!" he was cleaning tables but he came out and talked to us and now every senior in marching band knows I want to marry him. Whatever works. So, so...Jeff. I stayed to take care of the check so that I could see him again. I wonder how close to stalking I am. Pretty close. But he DID come out again to clean off the table and we talked a couple minutes longer. Marriage. Marriage. Homecoming? Marriage.
ThunderRidge GRIZZLIES.
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| *sing to me!* |
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Friday, September 5th, 2003
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beauty; thy name is early-release days at TRHS.
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| *sing to me!* |
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Thursday, September 4th, 2003
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| Time: | 9:06 pm. |
| Mood: |  crappy. |
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I am allergic to my own house.
whenever I come home I automatically start sneezing uncontrollably and lose my voice and get watery eyes. and now I'm getting a rash. but everywhere else I'm fine.
what?!
I need a boyfriend. thank you freud.
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| *sing to me!* |
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Wednesday, September 3rd, 2003
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| Time: | 2:36 am. |
| Mood: |  contemplative. | | Music: | tim mcgraw; don't take the girl. |
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One day of being gone in chem and I'm damn hopeless already. Oh, this is going to be fun. I'm just not a math/science-minded person. Art and music and literature...THERE we go. But I want a five.
eh. better get started.
I flirted with Jon D. today...I don't know why I find that funny but I really do. yes.
I also talked with Tahoe, Andrew(not my bro), Heather, Ashley, etc. about love lives and crable robbing. Wow. I could date Andrew. He's cute like none other. According to Heather it's cradle robbing though, because he's a sophomore. sonofa.
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| *sing to me!* |
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Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003
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| Time: | 2:20 am. |
| Mood: |  groggy. | | Music: | matchbox twenty; hand me down. |
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someday they'll find your small town world on a big town avenue
gonna make you like the way they talk when they're talking to you
gonna make you break out of the shell cause they tell you to
gonna make you like the way they lie better than the truth
they'll tell you everything you wanted someone else to say
they're gonna break your heart yeah
from what I've seen
you're just a one more hand me down
'cause no one's tried to give you what you need
so lay all your troubles down
I am with you now
somebody ought to take you in; try to make you love again
try to make you like the way they feel when they're under your skin
never once did think they'd lie when they're holding you
you wonder why they haven't called when they said they'd call you
you start to wonder if you're ever gonna make it by
you'll start to think you were born blind
from what I've seen
you're just a one more hand me down
'cause no one's tried to give you what you need
so lay all your troubles down
I am with you now
I'm here for the hard times
the straight through your heart times
when living ain't easy
you can stand up against me
and maybe rely on me
and cry on me yeah
oh no no no
some day they'll open up your world
shake it down on a drawing board
do their best to change you
they still can't erase you
from what I've seen
you're just a one more hand me down
'cause no one's tried to give you what you need
so lay all your troubles down
I am with you now
lay them down on me
oh yeah
you're just one more hand me down
and all those nights don't give you what you need
so lay all your troubles down on me
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| *sing to me!* |
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Monday, September 1st, 2003
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there are only six lj-ers who list "spiky haired boys" as one of their interests. and one of them is me, so that doesn't count. WHAT?! we need to fix this.
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| *sing to me!* |
| Time: | 10:57 pm. |
| Mood: |  amused. | | Music: | baby show on TLC. |
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Jeff said "hi katie" to me Saturday night. What this means to me:
obviously it had to register that I was there. At some point, this thought went through. --there's Katie. I'll say hi to her-- right? I mean...there's no doubt that THAT THOUGHT registered. The rest I will leave up to hope. But hey. I exist and he knows it. So ha.
I'm going to wear my radiohead pants tomorrow. they make me happy. I wrote the lyrics to fake plastic trees down the outside seams and around the upturned cuffs. happy happy pants.
I'm stupid. you know why? well...a lot of reasons...but right now just because I realized that when Jeff said "hi katie" to me I was so damn flumbered(Mandy!) that I just said "hi Jeff" and went back to my sprite. I don't even remember if I smiled! sweet jesus...I must always give the impression that I'm not interested because I don't want to make a fool of myself. I'll have to try and say hi to him tomorrow and maybe-hopefully-remediate my own idiocy. if I hadn't said "hi jeff" I would have said "YES! I will marry you! let's do it NOW!"
smooth. godDAMN am I smooth.
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| *sing to me!* |
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Friday, August 29th, 2003
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I have to go by numbers or my topic jumping will distress even those who actually read it.
1) As we all know, my dreams are weird and weirder still...not to mention I have one every night because I skip two stages of sleep. I wonder how it is NOT to go straight from consciousness to dreamland. but whatever. but this one was kind of odd...don't know what to make of it...help me out. Me and Jake. How did THAT happen, even in a dream? I'm thinking the subject probably set that one down because I drove him home the other day...lol we were blasting smooth jazz in my minivan with the marijuana leaf lei in the rearview mirror. Funny as hell. But honestly I don't get what is going on here. Let me lay out the facts.
**My mother and three others state that Jake is madly in love with me. Basis for this statement varies.
**Jake decided to drum major this year...no clear basis for this decision(read: I am senior drum major, he's junior drum major).
**Every single day when I'm eating lunch, Jake shows up. Whether he's in the same lunch as me or not. He doesn't sit down...he just stands there. We say hi and then it's up to me to carry on the conversation. Otherwise it's relaly awkward. Hell, I have better conversations with Jeff and that's when I'm trying my best not to jump him or scare him away.
Melissa agreed to do some snooping for me on this subject. It feels like 7th grade all over again except it's even weirder and as far as Jake is concerned I have a kind of a...void. I just stop thinking about it before I start. What.
2) mascoting is totally awesome this year. There are only 4 of us, and I'm the only senior. We decided the hell with anonymity this year...everyone is going to know that we rock the casbah all the way to the floor. we all have camelbacks now so that we don't die while mascoting...why didn't I think of that last year?! It could save my life. We're also getting mascoting hoodies, so that when cheers and poms wear their uniforms to school, and football/basketball/whatever players wear their jerseys to school(game days), we can wear our mascoting hoodies. They're going to be brown because no one else has the color and well...we're grizzly bears dammit. And we're going to sew ears on the hoodie part. YES. I'm really happy with that part...it was my idea lol. On the sleeve we'll have our name and on the back we'll have some fun phrase about how mascoting owns every sport there ever was or will be. Damn we're cool.
3) Econ. was really fun today...Rouse wasn't there lol. But we had a pretty cool sub(poor lady had a neck brace on but she was really nice and let us hang out and play music as long as we finished out work) and we watched some movie on capitalism and then made posters of the causes and effects of capitalism. Melissa brought cookie/bar type things that her mom made and they were the best thing I ever had in my life. We put on modest mouse and made our posters and I actually talked to Jeff. And Kane but he doesn't count because I have no romantic interest in him lol. It was seriously the most fun I've had in a long time and at least now Jeff(if he was even paying attention-doubtful, but I can dream) has seen some of my personality and he KNOWS I am a complete and total dork who, surprisingly, listens to a lot of the same music that he does. Funny, but really relevent. I don't and won't pretend. Not to him. Because he doesn't pretend.
4) I wrote a song today right before play practice, while Tahoe was playing my guitar and providing me with inspiration(unknowingly, but as long as he's playing MY guitar he'd better be useful). I actually kind of like it, which isn't typical of what I write. I call it "relate" Then I wrote another song called "relate pt. 2" which is upon the same basis yet different, so whatever. Tahoe read the first (relate) and he really liked it. He's got an awesome sense of music so I'll take that as profound flattery lol.
5) actually did an AP art project in ONE DAY today...that's flippin amazing for me. It's a frog(indescribable pose) in chalk pastel. I hate chalk pastel but but the piece itself is not too bad. Ms. Hiatt loves it, so la. It was my complementary colors piece(where you invert a picture's colors). Today, since I finished early(go me, go) I started on my image matrix. From my matchbox twenty cd I found my idea/inspiration, and so I made Kelly, Kyle, Brianne, and Joey go out into the hallway where we stood in a line and covered our faces with our hands(I was in it too) and we took a picture of us all. I'm going to switch the faces and the hands around...the forearms will be a pretty big focal point because they were all really unique; my froggie watch, Kelly's oil paint covered hands, Kyle's black nail polish, Brianne's fingers entwined and hidden behind her hat, Joey's normalcy lol. We were messing around with the image in photoshop and we turned Kyle into god...first we put a big glare on his head because he shaves his head and we wre like...wow! He's in the middle of the five of us so it's really crazy looking. He looks like a prophet or something. Then we made it spherical so that Kyle was really big in the middle and the rest of us were kind of skewed off towards the sides, and we gave him a head-glare again. Then it was REALLY great. He's not Kyle anymore. He's god. From now on. He's not going to be god in my piece though.
I'm really, really tired.
Marry me Jeff Morgan.
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Thursday, August 28th, 2003
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colfaxwhore
is distressed. |
| If it's not one thing, it's another. Your life is a pitiful wreck, and it's all you ever write about. Why don't you at least make up a happy story for once. Your friends would appreciate that. |
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Livejournal Mood Ring
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| *sing to me!* |
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artistic.
happy.
irritated.
anxious.
sick.
exanimate.